On Anger...

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On reading my last post, I thought that there should be a little clarification about anger.  Lest you think that I regard anger as a sin.  I don't.  Anger is one of the many God-given emotions that we feel from time to time.  Anger can be a very legitimate emotion - it's what we do with anger that makes it a sin.  I speak from personal experience - when we let anger harbour inside and don't "deal" with it, then it will come out anyway, usually when we least expect it, and sometimes many years after the event that made us angry.  Sometimes the anger explodes in most inappropriate ways.  It took a long time - a VERY long time - for me to learn that it is best to talk about the anger at the time you feel.  Sometimes I take a step back and ask myself "why the anger?"  And then I reflect on what is happening, and with God's help, can usually work out the reasons, and then I can go back to the person (if there is one...) involved and talk about the problem in a much calmer, rational manner. 

I think of Jesus and the anger He displayed in the synagogue when He overturned the tables of the merchants who were defiling the House of God.  He used His anger to do something constructive about the problem.  And yet, this wasn't a sin, because we are told that Jesus was sinless.  And I believe the Bible.  I thank God that I am allowed to be angry and ask Him to help me deal with it in constructive ways, rather than destructive ways. 

On Sins and Weeds..

This morning I have been out in the garden.  Weeding.  I started early to beat the heat, but despite that it was hot work and by mid morning I needed a rest.

I was amazed with the variety of weeds in my garden.  Some are so easy to pull out.  A quick tug and out they come, into the wheelbarrow for disposal.  Others need a bit of coaxing.  Then there are the ones that require a bit of digging, and more pulling and grunt to go with it.  But then, there are some that just don't want to come out!  No matter how hard you pull, they won't be budged and you have to dig down with the garden fork to get under the roots and loosen the soil.  Only then can you coax them out.  The worst one though, are those that multiply under ground.  They usually have bulbs down there, and if you pull the heads off, you cause the bulb to explode and regenerate.  You don't see it, but they grow and multiply hidden beneath the soil until at a later time they burst forth out of the soil in hateful arrogance for the hard work you put into the garden...

As I was sitting in the cool house having my rest and a cold drink, I started thinking about the weeds.  How like sin are those weeds?  There are some sins that enter our lives, and we have no trouble weeding them out.  We learn about the harm they cause not only ourselves, but our loved ones, and so we stop.  It's the right thing to do.  Still others we can get rid of with a bit of self control and/or self discipline.  We know what is wrong and what is right, and with God's help we put them into the garbage bin of life and get rid of them. 

But then there are those tough ones, that we word on, we get the shovel out and loosen the roots a bit, and keep working.  But it's so hard to get rid of those sins.  "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."  And so, with the power of the Holy Spirit we can work on those sins and get them out of our lives and be transformed.

Ooooh.  I forgot some.  Those weeds that have the bulbs  that multiply under the ground, sight unseen.  How harmful are sins like that?  We are blissfully unaware that we are harbouring anger.  Or resentment.  Or negative  thoughts.  And like a cancer they start to grow and multiply.  Until one day the ugly sin rears it's head, and suddenly we are aware of something painfully obvious.

It's impossible to rid ourselves of those sins.  At least on our own accord.  I started to thank God this morning that we had access to the Holy Spirit's power, to help us spray those weeds with His roundup!  Getting rid of those sins in our lives is a painful experience - but God promises to be with us through the fire.  And we come out the other end having grown in so many ways.

May God bless and hold you as He has me through my own weeding in life...

I didn't get to finish the weeding this morning - there are too many weeds for a few hours of hard work!  But I am getting there, and as I weed, I am replacing the weeds with fruit trees, an olive tree for my husband, and vegetable and flowers.  And that is what God does with our sins.  He replaces the sins with experiences and learning that enriches and nourishes our souls.

Of gardens and things...

We've just moved.  Well - about 2 weeks ago now.  The last month has been so hectic - with another visit to hospital, I had to do all the packing before I went in to hospital, since I couldn't really put off this surgery.  And I knew I would not be able to do anything after I came home.  So we were living surrounded by boxes for the week before I went in.  And then when I came home, we decided to postpone the move by one week, so that we could finish painting the new house...

So the boxes.  We got sick of "camping" in our old, rented property, but were so looking forward to this move!  The wait was worth it.  The dear old MOTH (Man of the House) sent me off to work on the day of the move - he said I would be safer there, and not tempted to lift or do anything I shouldn't!  (He knows me too well...)

So amongst all the boxes, we are slowly getting ourselves sorted out.  But my Dad - bless him - planted a small garden for us before he moved.  You see, my parents have moved into a retirement village and we have bought their house.  I can't remember a time when my father didn't have a garden, and though the backyard is small in this place, he had built himself a garden down the back.  It has three tiers, and you don't have to bend over to weed the garden so much, because the tiers are a good size and you can stand and weed.  He wanted us to have fresh tomatoes this summer and insisted on planting some back in August - the right time to plant them here, he said.  And cabbages.  And silverbeet.  And there is also an abundance of passionfruit, parsley and chillis. 

But the poor little tomato plants.  We haven't had the time to go out to the garden and tie the plants to the stakes.  Or weed.  You can imagine what it was like?  Well, today I finally made time to go out there and dig in the garden!  What a lovely day too.  Got my Vitamin D.  And pulled the weeds.  Not all of them.  Too many for one days work.  But I did pull them from around the tomatoes, cabbage and silverbeet.  The dog got to the parsley before me.  It didn't need weeding.  Just to be tenderly put back and the roots covered.

But you know what?  As I was pulling the weeds, I was surprised at how many different kinds of weeds there were.  Some were easy to pull out and discard - others had roots that held them in somewhat more firmly.  And still others, had roots that were so long, that it was almost impossible to pull them out.  It was like, I'd pull and pull and pull and the roots just kept coming.  How much like sin are those roots?  Some sin is easy to discard, once you know its wrong!  Other sins come back and they are a little harder to pull out of your life.  Still others, you seem to keep pulling and trying and the sin keeps coming back.  But thats why we need the Master Gardener in our lives.  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phillipians 4:13)

I am not strong enough to pull the sin out of my life.  But I know that with God, He can take the weeds away and ensure that my fruit is full of the Holy Spirit!  Thank you God.

God is our Home...

.



Garden Tomb, Jerusalem.  Israel.

It's a sacred place - beautiful, quiet and while there, I felt I was walking in His presence.  It was on 07/07/07 when I visited the Garden Tomb in Jerusalem.  It is just one of two traditional sites where it is believed that Jesus was resurrected.  I don't know which one was the actual site, but in this beautiful garden area it was not hard to imagine Jesus meeting Mary and telling her to go tell the disciples what she had seen.

It was here, that we sat as a group in the late morning, when one of our tour leaders took a short devotional.  Have you ever read a book for the second time (or even a third, fourth or more?) and suddenly seen something that you know you must have read before, but somehow "missed" it?  Well, this was one of those occassions!  Rick based his devotional on Psalm 90:1 - it's a Psalm of Moses, the only Psalm that he wrote.  The first verse reads

Lord, through all the generations
  you have been our home!

I have thought of this verse so many times since that day, and it has become one of my favourite verses, but it took on new meaning for me today.  I was driving home and reflecting on my recent journey through the valley of death, when I realised that it wasn't until after I had gone home, that I started to realise where my journey had taken me.  I came home on Thursday evening, and it was Friday morning when I was sitting on my bed, when it suddenly hit me how close to dying I came. 

And today when I was reflecting on that, I realised that I felt safe at home.  Safe enough to think and process where the journey had taken me.  Safe enough to become grateful that I was alive!  There are many reasons why God is our home.  Home is where we feel safe, accepted, and secure.  Just to name a few of the reasons.  But safety, for me, is probably one of the biggest reasons I love to come home.  And this is what God is to me - He is my place of safety.  He is where I can go and know that I am safe.  Yes, things can happen, bad things can happen.  But you know what?  As I went through that valley of death, I didn't fear anything - I knew that I was safe and when I was reflecting, I also knew that even if I had died, that my eternal life was secure in God.

Thank you God, for being my Home - for providing me with that safety!

Going Home..

"You can go home today."

When you have been in hospital unexpectedly for the past four days, to hear the Dr say those words was like music to my ears!  It may not have been evident to those around me, but inwardly I was singing and dancing in celebration.

That was 8am when the Dr came to see me and prononounced me well enough for discharge.  Now, I knew that there was a certain procedure that had to be followed, before I could actually walk (or in my case, be wheeled) out the door.  So I waited.  And waited.

And waited.  And then waited some more. 

Nothing seemed to be happening.  I asked the nurse what needed to be done.  Ah.  Well, there's the thing.  As the patient I could not do a thing to get ready - everything I could do had already been done.  Now it was up to the Drs, the Pharmacy, and other allied health professionals to do their thing and write up the Discharge letter, get the medications ready.  All would happen, never fear.  Just relax and wait.  Be ready, because when they needed the bed I would have to vacate - even to the "transit lounge" to await my final departure.

My husband wanted to know what time?  I said, no hurry, come after work.  He did.  At 3pm, still no discharge letter, no medications. 

The nurse came and told me that I had to go to the transit lounge.  My bed was needed.  The nurse from the transit lounge came to get me, and all my worldly possessions - a whole small shopping bag full of odds n ends.  I told the nurse I didn't have a discharge letter yet.  No problem - he had it! 

The Pharmacist came to talk to me.  She would go get the medication sorted out.  My husband started making noises about not having to leave work early, he didn't like waiting.  I told him I had no control over the speed with which these things happen...

5pm.  The phone rings - the nurse answered the call and then said to me, you are right to go.  Suddenly all the waiting was over, I was in the wheelchair and whisked downstairs to the pharmacy, then to the car and I was on the way home!  Home never looked so sweet...

I started thinking.  Jesus has promised us that He has gone away to prepare a home for us.  A home within His Father's house.  One day He will come back to take us back there with Him.  We don't know how much longer we have to wait.  We need to stay ready so we can leave with Him at a moments notice.  Home will never have looked so good!  We don't have control over when that happens, but we only have to stay ready - to hold fast and stay prepared.

It was great coming home after my unexpected stint in Hospital.  But how I long to go home to my Father. 

Even so, Come Lord Jesus!

The Valley of Death...

1 The LORD is my shepherd;
  I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
  he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3   He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
  bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk
  through the dark valley of death,
I will not be afraid,
  for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
  protect and comfort me.
5 You prepare a feast for me
  in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
  My cup overflows with blessings.
6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
  all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the LORD
  forever.
(The New Living Translation of Psalm 23)

This week I have been walking through the dark valley of death.  It hasn't been pleasant - horrendous, in fact.  It was after I came home from hospital that this Psalm suddenly took on new meaning for me.  I don't think I've ever felt as close to the shadow of death before.  But it was with that realisation that it also dawned on me that neither had I been afraid.  "Your rod and your staff they comfort me."

The shepherd's staff was something he used for support, to help him get over the rough terrain (and the terrain is very rough in the Middle-east!).  The rod, though, is a little different - it has several functions which make it particularly interesting in light of this Psalm, and a walk through the valley.  The rod was somehow used by the shepherd to mark his sheep, I guess a bit like the farmers these day brand their cattle.  But I think the most important use of the rod was to guide and protect the sheep - with the rod, the shepherd would ensure the sheep were guided to safe pastures and the rod would also drive away the wild animals that would hunt the sheep.

This week, I have felt the hand of God around me, marking me as His own.  This is as much HIS choice as it is mine!  I want to belong to Him, and I'm grateful for His protection this week.  The Good Shepherd has been there with me in my journey, guiding me and protecting me with His rod, supporting me with His staff.  Oh, how I have coveted this assurance throughout my life, and it has been there all the time.